Ashley to become celibate
We, the undersigned, are united in our concern for Ashley's romantic life, which has recently become a magnet for bad decisions and even worse men. It seems every time Ashley swipes right, she ends up swiping left on any hope of a healthy relationship. It’s clear: Ashley’s current love life is in need of a major reset.
We, therefore, petition that Ashley commit to a period of celibacy. This is not to punish her, but to give her a break from the endless cycle of heartbreak, disappointment, and questionable dating choices. Let’s face it—no one should be subjected to that many "ghosts" and that much emotional whiplash.
Sign if you believe Ashley deserves a better dating future—and if you think it might be time for a little personal time to recover from all the bad choices.